Friday, January 14, 2005

I rock so FUCKING hard!

So, you may have noticed there's a little something extra on the blog as of yesterday. Something we who have lived in New Orleans like to call, "lagniappe." That's "lan-yap" for my pesky Yankee friends. I, greatest of all mortals, figured out how to put a Blogrolling list on the sidebar. Those of you with mad computer skills and those of you under the age of 30 can stop laughing now. It's not as easy as you'd think! Here's the deal...

1) I read my first comment yesterday from this happening chick (I hope she doesn't mind the "chick" reference, it's so hard to tell what's polite in this here "inter-net.").
2) I do my maniacal happy dance because I feel so fucking ecstatic that someone that I don't know actually read my blog and cared enough to comment. (Hint to friends and family - don't be shy with the comment button...)
2 1/2) Brief interlude in happy dancing when I think to myself, "why does this make me so extremely happy? Am I that shallow?.... Yes." Re-commence happy dance.
3) I visit said chick's blog and find my blog listed!!!! Flashback to scene in The Jerk when Steve Martin finds his name in the phone book - INSTANT EUPHORIA all over again!
4) This inspires me to go to the Blogrolling website to see what exactly is involved in putting one of them thar critters on my website.
5) Hmm... thinking to myself, this doesn't look too hard. I did OK until I get to this part:
Please consult the documentation on modifying your blog templates for the individual systems. All you need to do is open up the template for your blog and paste in the code from step one to the spot you want it to be displayed on your blog. If you've ever modified the appearance of your blog this should be very simple.
They used the word "simple" a lot, yet I don't think they truly understood what the word means. To me, "simple" means there are big red signs that you can't miss guiding you every step of the way. "Simple" means that even some lame-ass, over-30, liberal arts major like myself can figure it out without resorting to the F-word every 5 minutes. This was so NOT the case.
6) Enter "Trial and Error" phase. I go to the Blogger template. I wade through the code. WTF is "padding:50px"? Who the fuck knows what a "margin:0 0 1em" means? I don't remember them covering that in my ONE computer class 10 years ago!?!?! Back in the day when they taught us all about the new hotness -- Windows 95!!!! It's fantastic! It's abso-fucking-lutely ingenious! It's like a Mac... huh.
7) After an HOUR of trial and error I finally make it work.
8) Huge celebration! Ticker-tape parade! Midgets dancing in the streets! The Mayor hands me the key to the city! I FUCKING ROCK!
....

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home