Monday, May 23, 2005

Why Do They Name Bras?

...because it's really freaky and I wish they would stop.

I was shopping online for a bra and noticed that now all bras come with really bizarre names like "Eyelash Galoon" and "Body Beware." {{Ed. note: No links as I'm sure the internet provides enough whack-off material for 13 year olds without me adding to the mix}} When did this happen? It used to be that only Victoria's Secret named intimate apparel. Those were some great names, too. I always felt like I was visiting the nasty twins of the Bronte sisters whenever I shopped there - "hmm...should I buy the Emily bra with the black lace or the Charlotte in hot pink?"

Have regular-buy-them-at-Target-bras always had names? I never noticed this phenomenon. Who comes up with these name anyway? Frustrated romance novelists? Demented monkeys farting on snare drums? Because I think those are the two types of names out there now.

Frustrated Novelist Bra Names...
1. "Jasmine"
2. "Isadora"
3. "Angelique"

Demented Monkey Farting on Snare Drum Bra Names...
1. "All the Right Moves" (I think I saw this exact same product name while shopping for a laxative)
2. "Body Beware"
3. "Eyelash Galoon" (I don't even know what this means)


Blogger ix said...

ok, lesson number one: always purchase bra's from victoria's secret.
why: they last longer, they fit better, they look better.

lesson number two: if ever tempted to buy a bra from *arget or *almart, see rule number one.


i got here via sj's blog. i've been buying bra's for over 16 years... no not for me.. well not for me to wear :)

10:19 AM  
Blogger kimbabalu said...

ix - point taken. however, i cannot help myself if i am ever presented with the opportunity to purchase a bra named "eyelash galoon" - that is something i simply MUST own!

2:01 PM  
Blogger ix said...

i have to know... what does an 'eyelash galoon' bra look like?

i imagine a brown fuzzy bra with long featherly-like 'eyelashes' protruding from the top. much like snuffleupagus' eyelashes.

2:19 PM  

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