Wednesday, June 22, 2005

You might think I'm delirious, When I Run You Down...

Why is it that I can think of 100s of things to write about while I’m driving in to work, but my mind goes blank whenever I sit down to type? WHY???

…and speaking of driving to work let me hep all of you out there to some of the unwritten rules of driving in Dallas:

1) 60 mph is the default speed limit on every street. I don’t care if the sign says 35 mph, it’s 60 -- trust me.

2) There is a Starbucks on every corner so don’t slam on your brakes and cut in front of me just so you don’t miss the entrance to that particular strip mall. Your double-venti-mocha-triple-piss-cup will be waiting for you at the next corner, bitch.

3) If you’re going to drive like an asshole, don’t put your name and phone number on your back windshield. I don’t care if you CAN sell my house in 90 days – you still can’t drive for shit and you need to be dragged out of your minivan and beat upside the head with your Jesus Fish. And now that I have your name and number I just may call you up at 2:oo AM to verbally beat you to a pulp.

1 Comments:

Blogger Colin said...

You are very funny.

7:25 PM  

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