Tuesday, July 05, 2005

It's a Quickie!

..."Erection Symbology 101*"

So the end of the Summer semester is fast approaching and that means it's bitching season. Yep, this is the time when students descend on my office like locusts, whining and bitching about their about-to-be-posted grades. Having been both a student and a teacher I think I'm qualified to offer a few pointers on how to complain about a grade...

1) Wear deodorant!

2) When I ask you if there were any extenuating circumstances that prevented you from turning in your work on time think VERY carefully before you launch into the story of how your family MADE you go on a week-long trip to the Bahamas with them.

3) Please don't pick your nose in my presence. I'm begging you. I have a two-year-old so I'm no stranger to boogers, I just don't want to be confronted with any more boogers than I already am.

and finally...

4) Even though a raging erection may impress some people in some other venues - Oaklawn after midnight comes to mind - it does not belong in my office. Please control your moderately-sized schlong so it doesn't intrude on our conversation like some overly-excitable miniature poodle constantly jumping up and down for attention.

*I have to give mad props to my friend H. for coming up with the name for this post. Please visit her new blog - and worship her for the blog-goddess that she is (or will soon be).


Blogger Pete said...

You couldn't pay me enough to be a teacher. LOL

10:14 PM  
Blogger Hannah Gerber said...

Personally I love seeing erections.

6:45 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

I am mesmerized by erections. I'd probably have changed the grade....

7:15 AM  

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