Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Man's Best Friend...and then some

Read this article and then join me in contemplating what a fucked up world we live in. I'm not sure what part of the article I enjoyed the most. Was it the fact that:

1) The dog's name was Lucky. Ah, sweet Irony - you are a harsh mistress!

2) So few states have laws against bestiality - yet they were all rushing to the polls to prevent gays from getting married!

3) Or is it this statement,

Yoder, who lives in a local apartment complex, last month asked a female acquaintance to join him in a sex act with the dog.... She demurred, but later told a friend about it. That person called a social worker, who called police.

Hmmm... Wouldn't you have loved to have overheard that conversation - or any of those conversations?

"Brittney, you'll never guess what my neighbor just asked!"
"Well, like I was just carrying my groceries into my apartment when, like, the blind guy next door asks if I want to be in a threesome with him and his dog!"
"No way!"


Blogger Kim said...

I wonder if he played "mood music".

5:44 AM  
Blogger HappyFunBall said...

"An animal-control officer took the dog to Dr. Sondra Brown, a veterinarian at Northwood Animal Hospital, who could not determine whether the dog had been sexually abused."

Here's an actual snippet of the actual conversation that I just now totally made up:

"Can you show me, on the doll, where the bad man touched you?"

"Bark bark woof."

"Bark bark WOOF? I'm sorry, I'm unfamiliar with that dialect, can we get an interpreter? No, Lucky, don't do that to the doll ... Bad dog! I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. You're a very good dog, in a bad situation ... Ok, d'ya think you can stop licking yourself ... there, and look at me? Let's try this again... No, I said NO! Put down the doll, DOWN! Oh, look, Lucky, here's the nice interpreter, she's just here to help me listen to you ... LUCKY! DOWN! BAD DOG! Get off the nice interpreter's leg ... I'm so sorry, no, come back, he doesn't understand what he's doing is wrong, he's a victim! Wait! Oh, DAMMIT. This sucks, I KNEW I should have become a dentist ... PUT THE DAMN DOLL DOWN, YOU FUCKING DOG!"

1:00 PM  
Blogger HappyFunBall said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:00 PM  

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