Thursday, July 14, 2005

Random Thoughts and Musings... I enter my 13th hour at work and attempt to blog as a way to alleviate the need to set my hair on fire and run screaming from the building.

1. To the lady in front of me at Starbucks this morning: I don't know when, or even if, hot pink, skin-tight capri pants were ever "in," but here's the thing: Please don't assault my eyes with your sausage-esque technicolor-wrapped physique at 7:00 in the morning. If you're a size 20 then wear a size 20 - don't try to butter your ass to squeeze into a size 10. It's cruel and unusual punishment for those of us waiting in line behind you who only wanted to get our morning caffeine fix.

2. To the asshole that tossed a GLASS bottle (from a Starbucks frappuccino - there's the evil influence of Starbucks again!) out of your car window as you pulled away from the intersection this morning: I wrote down a discription of your car and your license plate number. It is plastered to my dashboard so that if I ever see you again I will follow you to your destination and pelt your car (Dodge Minivan) with my son's soiled diapers. And if you think I'm not insane enough to follow through with this threat then you need to call some of my friends from college. If they're not too drunk they'll verify that I can and will follow through with said threat.


Blogger Hannah Gerber said...

So let's go, Miss Empty Threat 2005, post the plate number, let the rest of us in on the potential opportunity for fun.

1:21 PM  

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