Friday, September 23, 2005

How to Piss Me Off (an on-going series)

Walk (really slowly) up the middle of the staircase while talking on your cell phone and gesticulating like a retarded crack addict - making it impossible for me to get around you.

Call me "persnickety" thinking I won't know that you really want to call me a bitch. Just call me a bitch.

Act like you don't understand English in order to get out of finishing your assignments - when I know you do because I was your fucking teacher ALL of last year.

Charge me $6.00 for a salad -- the exact same salad that you charged me $4.50 for yesterday.


Blogger Hannah Gerber said...

Would it be so hard to say (in an extremly terse and 'bitchy' voice) " Um, excuse ME? Can I just....Yeah, THANKS." At least that if you cant muster the courage to say, 'You want to get the fuck out of the way, Buddy?'
You have such potential for not giving a shit, I would love to see you (and me both) start saying nearly everything we want to every time, every day and in every way; thereby fulfilling our innermost need for full expression!

7:00 AM  

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